i don't know.
i really don't know.

ok i know you peeps out there don't know what im talking about, but bear with me for a while. ty.

these few days before 2009 ends, my feelings have been very muddled. confusing. strange. whatever, just mixed. its almost as if... i don't dare to face the future... face 2010. some of my closer friends (Spohia) would know what is happening in my life right now, but i don't want to talk about it. not now, at least.

i almost feel afraid of the future, afraid of what is going to happen. which is, unfortunately, going to happen in 2010. which is why i'm trying to cling onto every second the is left of 2009...even though i know that time, must always go on. i feel as if... i never want 2010 to come. my mentality is, if 2009 never ends, 2010 can never come.

which is basically correct, actually.

but i still can't really face the future, and face what is going to happen in the near future. its only a matter of time.

i know that i've kept saying"leave it to God, trust in him" and stuff like that. not that i don't believe it, it's just that...
i'll miss all of you. i really will.

this is the time of my life that i need all the support i can get...and i know there are peeps out there, who love me, care for me, and... i love you too, SOPHIA!

i know God is also here for me...Joshua 1:5 says: i will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.

thank you, Lord!

you know what, Sophia... i feel like hugging you guys and crying on your shoulders again...this Thursday...when we meet... ...

thank you for always being here for me...