I have e-learing today. haha but thats not the point of this post.

for the first time in my life, i realized that time really does fly. like, FLY. i mean, look at the date right now. its already, what, 1st april? seems to me that only yesrerday i was still worring about my future. since then, 3 whole months have passed already. 3 months is a LONG time.

and now i sit here and ask myself: what have i actually done with my life so far?

i dont have much time left. we ALL dont have much tim left. in fact, we dont havr ANY time left at all. that means, we must start moving RIGHT NOW. i mean, come on, every day we live is a gift form God. yesterday will never keep coming.

3 months since i broke the news to u ppl. 3 months since i promised to myself, i will DEFINATELY be a part of DI's movement to have 100 souls planted by june.

boom, and rain starts falling. another of those sudden pours.

but what have i done so far? sure, i meant what i said back then, and i still mean it now.
as sudddenly as it had come, the rain stops.
but what have i been doing? when i look at my sister, even my classmates, i feel so bad within. that i lack the courage to go all out for God. taht i lack the will to do things for God, instead of the world. that i choose to keep my dignity above what God wants me to do.

there, i've said it all out. things that i never dared to admit, or to acknowledge.

whaat have i truly done with my life? now as i look back, i see many lost souls in need of a saviuor's love. and because i never really invested my time into saving souls, and getting girls who had come to DI before to come back, this time i lost all their numbers. and now i have no hope in contacting them again.

like i said, or rather typed, we never know what will happen tmr. i always thought i could do follow-ups the next day, later, whatever. then i lost my phone, and once again, the contacts werent the first thing i thought of.

im sorry, pearl. i let you, hongxia, eunice, and most of all, the whole of Sophia down. i always tried to hide everything away, to not let you know, and not to embarass myself. maybe you were able to see through the front i put up. maybe you saw this coming; maybe you didnt. i dont know how i can face you again, after you read this.

what should i do?